Day 242: Learning to not react when I am treated differently Part 2

Is there a scenario where people are trying to single you out of an equation? Are there people that are trying to treat you differently to others in a situation.

Well if there is then this blog will support in making sure that you learn to become unaffected by the mental attacks of others, because ultimately while we can try to assist a person to see their abusive behaviour and give them a solution, we can never change another persons perspective, we can only ever change our own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in annoyance when I am treated differently to others in a situation. I realise that this reaction only causes discomfort for me, and is exactly what the person/persons trying to treat me differently wish to achieve. So I take self-responsibility to redesign myself into a being that cannot be moved into emotional reaction by the spiteful actions of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to after initially being offended, I then will become mentally trapped within a bubble of paranoia, wondering what plot, what conspiracy are these people cooking up for me next? Again this paranoia is not supporting me and so should be removed.

I forgive myself that I have held onto memories from when I was a young child of being surrounded by white people in various scenarios, and feeling different just from a race perspective because even though I have a lot of Aryan genetics, I have such a mix of genes in my design and almost feeling ashamed of that in younger years - wanting and hoping to be included, yet also expecting to be treated differently because of my race and jumping into reaction at the smallest verification of being treated differently, so I can see this is the starting point I must release.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be surprised every time I am ever treated differently, even when this surprise makes no sense because i have been treated differently in so many scenarios in my life, that I must learn and understand that my presence, my words and deeds can cause reactions in others, because I often show a new way of doing something - anything that is different, that is not initially fully understood is always met with fear, that is how this system was designed - the matrix attacks anything that is a threat to the status quo.

I forgive myself that I have been expecting to be treated the same by others at all times, but I realise that being treated equally in all things is how it should be in the global system, but it is not how it is now. Therefore this expectation is pointless because it only keeps me in separation from that which is here.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments that my expectations are irrelevant, because I cannot presume to know how a person will treat me in any situation, so expecting them to treat me fairly or unfairly is an unnecessary point of friction to carry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes enjoy being treated differently, where my ego will purposefully try to feed into the person/persons initial reaction of fear towards something about me, so that I get attention from them even if the attention is not supportive for them or me, which is unacceptable. So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the "special alien attention" from others, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as different, as an alien but yet expect people to treat me equally, which makes no sense.

So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dislike being treated unequally, yet within my actions I sometimes have been looking for and feeding into being treated differently by people through things like exaggeration and a stoic interaction with them where my communication is purposely stunted, which is an unacceptable manipulation of myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have not lived the realisation in all moments that it is within including myself, assisting those that treat me differently, laughing with them helping them achieve their goals, showing them that they don't need to fear you - it is within the consistency of these acts, that the fears of people and their egos attempt to shun you will be mitigated and eventually evaporated.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments that it is not the person that is really doing this act of inequality towards me, it is their fear which is directing them and their ego is simply trying to defend itself as is the nature of agent Smith in our mind towards Neo and his group of new system designers.

I forgive myself that I deceived myself into believing that I am "over" the judgements of others affecting me, when in reality I am not, which is why I am writing this blog now, because I have more work to do before I actually truly transcend the thoughts, feelings and emotions with regards to being treated differently.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments, that if I was in the other peoples shoes who are treating me differently, then I would fear me too - therefore I must accept their fear and do my best to guide them to the evaporation of their fears through my interaction with them.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that if they were in my shoes they would treat me as an equal in all things, therefore i must learn to become more effective at gently integrating people into my shoes so to speak, by planting seeds when I am attacked, rather then reacting to and being offended by the attack.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to react to the actions of someone/someones who are trying to treat me differently in any situation. As and when I see my mind drifting in these moments, I stop and breathe, I smile, I do not allow myself to interact with these thoughts, as I know that the repetition of this pattern will occur, so instead breathe and continue to do so until these thoughts are no more and do not come up when someone is trying to isolate me out of something.

I commit myself to living the realisation that it is through taking a persons hand, not shunning them

for their fear, but instead showing them with your actions that you are a caring being, that there is nothing to fear about me and that with our unity we are stronger. So I will assist those that want to isolate me, those that fear me, through my words and actions my example will make sure that they are best supported to relinquish their fear of me.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to feed into fear for attention, so as and when I see that someone is fearing me for something, that they are gossiping about me, plotting against me etc, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to feed into thoughts of verifying their fear by being blunt and cold towards them, instead I breathe and continue to do so, until these thoughts are no more, because they do not support me or anyone else in any scenario, so I walk until that is done.