Day 229: They want to remove me - remaining stable in the face of attacks Part 2

So we continue and the attacks against me by a certain group have intensified, resulting in some physical confrontations. If it were not for my ability to defend myself and some assistance from friends and police, the situation could have gotten out of hand quickly.

This confrontation happened as a result of people from this group attempting to gang up on me at a place I was staying on my own - using racial remarks, threats, throwing bottles at the house I was staying in, to try and cause a reaction in me, which worked. As I have explained before I have issues with people using racial slurs against any group in general, but particularly against people from China/Asia, the Caribbean/Africa and Germany.

The China/Asia point I have explained in previous blogs, the Caribbean/African point is based in friends and family I have from those countries and some of my own heritage, but the German point I have yet to explain -

So first off I have German blood in me, secondly my grandfather was 1/4 German, and he always

taught me to respect Germany, that the British Royal family comes from German descent, which is true. He taught me that some of the best scientists he ever worked with were from Germany, and that the country is full of highly intelligent people in a variety of fields.

This group that has been attacking know who my grandfather was, and they used that to psychologically attack me. So I reacted, I started throwing my own slurs at these people, mainly attacking the point of their ignorance with passion.

Police were on the scene already in this scenario, as according to the information they had, they knew something could happen, so as the shouting and arguing escalated, the police were struggling to contain the situation, one person from this group felt extra brave and found a way to charge at me, swinging a punch at me.

Thanks to my life long martial arts training, and my natural athleticism, I evaded this punch, then I utilised a technique to put the person on the ground. The police then pulled me away from this guy, but they could see that my response was purely in self defence.

Me putting this attacker down angered the horde even more and a lot of police were struggling to contain them - then in the next moment friends of mine arrived at the scene, and with police help we began diffusing the situation.

Now it is a strange scenario, because I have to decide whether to press charges on these people or not. Some of my friends, family and work colleagues want me to press charges, but I am still in two minds about this point, as in my experience, taking legal action against someone can cause the hate they have for you to be further entrenched.

But as everyone close to me keeps reminding me, this group have been systematically trying to take legal action against me purely for my own views and accomplishments - because taht has failed teh attacks seem to be getting more direct.

I know that no matter what I do, there will be more attacks, but I have to create stability within myself and my participation within all this. Because I know that these reactions in these situations are not assisting me, they are causing me to intensify the conflict in these situations, and through the very act of reacting, I am giving my attackers what they want.

I will not change my principles to satisfy anybody, and if I am to be removed by these people in whatever way they try, I will do so as an example of what I would like to see in the world.

So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react emotionally as annoyance and personal offence when people try to attack me in a variety of ways. I realise that these reactions are not supporting in living what is best for all life, as they derive from the ego which is trying to defend
itself in these situations of being under fire from haters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel personally offended when people attack my principles aggressively just because they don't like them. I have to realise that the principles of equality and oneness will offend certain people, because they prefer a life of subservience to a "higher power" and while I have accepted this point, I now have to learn that my principles will potentially  cause some to be more offended then usual, then they will want to cause me harm and remove me, me being offended about that will not help the situation at all.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to be moved by the racial statements of another, I realise that I cannot change what someone else wants to think or say about me. I have to remain as myself regardless, I can only breathe and not let myself be moved into reaction by these type of attacks.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to hold onto memories of my grandfather explaining the importance of Germany to me growing up, which is where i have then added value to the country of Germany in my mind, believing I must "defend" Germany -

so within this I forgive myself for allowing myself to place value on Germany as if it is more important then any other country which it is not, and I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I must "defend" Germany, when this defence is really just my ego talking, which will not assist me to live whats best for all in my life.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that through stating that I am "used to" these kind of attacks,
that is really my ego confirming that I am allowing myself to be defined by these attacks and my reaction as a result of it, not that I am remaining stable.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be defined by these reactions, I see and understand that this self-definition I have created, is completely limiting because it is based in separation from psychical reality, so it only serves to hinder my expression instead of empowering it when I remain stable as breathe.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to react to the strategic attacks of others who want to remove me. I realise that whether these people can successfully remove me or not is irrelevant, I can only remain stable as breathe where I can apply common sense decision making to my actions. So as and when I see myself  reacting to the attacks of another, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage with the thoughts that come up, as there will only be a cycling of events if I do that, so I breathe and continue to do so until there are no more thoughts that come up, and I can truly remain stable in the face of these attacks.

I commit myself to living the realisation that I can never change what another thinks or believes about me. All i can do is make sure that I am as stable as I can possibly be so that regardless of what attacks may occur, I remain stable as breathe, living my words, being an example of my principles and thus what I wish to see in the world.