Day 187: The Dogman Part 2

continuing from my last blog -

Yes its true if a person has problems with Dogs or any animals, then they will have to change that at some point in their life in order to become a better human being, but I cannot let myself react to people just because they don't like dogs -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react whenever I find out that a person does not like dogs, or the type of dogs I have. I realise that within the capitalist system we have in place in the world, everyone has had different upbringings/education and so varying degrees of understanding of reality, so I take self-responsibility to live this realisation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get pissed off by the fear and ignorance of others - I realise that if someone is accepting fear and ignorance in relation to anything, then that is their problem to resolve, not mine, so it should not be affecting me in anyway whatsoever unless their fear/ignorance is causing consequences of abuse in my world, in which case I can simply block them and move on.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments that some people raise dogs to be aggressive, and so some people have been attacked badly by aggressive dogs in the past, and even if they haven't, they might know someone that was, or maybe they may have been raised in a house with no animals, and so may have been taught at a young age to treat animals with disdain. So it is not acceptable for me to judge people because they cant let go of those traumatic memories/life experiences - this world is living proof that letting go of traumatic experiences is something that we all have struggled with more then anything else -- in my experience the worst memories in our lives are always full of the most thoughts and emotions, and thus are the most difficult to release.  

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every breathe, that I have allowed fear and ignorance in relation to other points in my life, such as with things like criminality, relationships, drugs -  so it makes no sense to judge anyone for thoughts and emotions that I have experienced myself in different contexts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress a memory of when I myself was afraid of a dog in a moment - I remember being about 7 years old, my mums friend had an old grumpy dog, and I wanted to play, he didn't and he bit me, so in reality although I have always enjoyed dogs hugely, I know exactly what emotions one experiences in a moment of fearing a dog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to avoid people that are afraid of dogs, because of experiencing thoughts that to attempt to support them to change the point will be hopeless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as hopelessness in regards to supporting people to let go of dog fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify this avoidance in my mind, because of memories of past relationships and friendships, where I attempted to support the person to let go of their fear of dogs and I perceive that I "failed", because many of those relationships or friendships from the past ended on disagreeable terms - so in my mind I go into hopelessness when I find a person that I meet now in my life is afraid of dogs, which I am realising is limited stupidity --

So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of broken down relationships from the past as a justification to react to, judge, and avoid people with Dog fears. I realise that regardless of what has happened in the past, as with all things, if I see that someone has an issue inside of themselves that I know I can support them with or plant a seed, then I must do that, but if my giving is not unconditional then it is pointless -

So I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in the past offer support to people with dog fears, just so that the person will like and respect me and thus stay in my life, which is a conditional giving of support based in self-interest, which is unacceptable. I realise that how a person responds to my support is never the point in terms of my interaction - that I attempt to support, and do it from an unconditional starting point which is the key to living whats best for all -

So within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a person to like me for supporting them to let go of dog fears, and then be offended if they don't start releasing those fears immediately and thanking me/liking me. I realise this is a complete lack of understanding and psychotic concept in reality, so I take self-responsibility to change these problems inside my mind and my interaction.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments, that within anything, I must support a person unconditionally, and I can only do so when I am completely clear, no hidden agendas, and am fully experienced in how to change the point, while also understanding of peoples varying degrees of education and thus ability to make those changes immediately or at all.

I realise that the reward for attempting to support a person completely unconditionally, is that even if the person doesn't respond or take interest in my attempted support I will not be offended, I will not react, because I am not expecting anything in return for my giving, the point of unconditional is completely free, no payment, so if they support themselves to change their fears then great, if they don't then they don't. If they don't we will possibly still part ways, but it will be on beneficial terms because I will not be offended/emotional/verbally abusive as the ego that "they didn't listen to me" and who knows in years to come, a memory of something I said may help them out in later life when they are ready to change  -  the power of planting a seed must never be underestimated, I have seen that myself with other people regarding other points, and within myself when someone has supported me in my process.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to hold onto unsupportive memories in regards to attempting to assist people with dog fears in the past. As and when i see thoughts/memories coming up in my mind that fuel judgements to people with dog fears, I stop and breathe, I realise the time loop, the destructive chain of events that will happen if I participate with those thoughts/memories, so I breathe and continue to breathe until there are no more unsupportive thoughts/memories that come up when I find out a person doesn't like dogs.

I commit myself to living the realisation that if I attempt to support anyone to support themselves to change anything about themselves, then it is only valid support if I do it unconditionally, otherwise it will only be conditional/emotional/self-interested support, which is not support at all but abuse so I take self-responsibility to end this mind game that's been happening in my head.

I commit myself to not react as an offended experience if a person does not respond/take action with regards to my attempted support. I realise that the proof of this will only be proven if my support is unconditional in the first place in self honesty. If my "support" is conditional it will only be ego, dishonesty, separation and abuse and thus i will be offended. So as and when I attempt to support a person to look at how to release their dog fears, i first breathe, where I can apply common sense and create the best solution, where I make sure that there is no thoughts/memories/hidden agendas at play - also if and when a person does not take interest in my support in the future, as and when I see any thoughts/memories/emotions coming up, i stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to go into anything that comes up, I just breathe here as myself as life equal and one, and continue to breathe through the points until there is no more reactions in these moments.

I commit myself to living the realisation that we all have varying degrees of education and thus ability to change even if we are provided support.