So as I’m doing some shopping the other day, while waiting, i could hear the woman at the till talking with another customer about how good charity work is to help the poor, that she prays for the poor every night, and when i came to pay for my weekly shopping, i saw this woman at the counter had a pretty large gold Christian cross necklace on. I became unstable and a reaction occurred immediately in my mind with the thoughts "stupid fucker you are not a Real Christian if you support charity" and "god will not save you" when i saw this cross these thoughts came up very quickly, I also experienced a feeling of slight disdain towards this woman, and very much like a vampire from a film, i physically reacted with a quiet hissing sound under my breath lol, I daydreamed for a second as a picture in my mind of the being finding out god is not real one day, then I kept looking at this cross now and then while packing my shopping away, thinking about the words she said, and how much I wanted to say something about her idea of charity and praying, but I knew it would cause some friction, then I realized what I was doing, so I laughed for a moment, then I just stabilized myself here through four count breath.
Then after i paid and left, on the way back to the car i noted the point down, that I was judging this woman, instead of just reflecting the point back to myself, and seeing that I have also been in this belief before – that wearing trinkets that enforce belief is acceptable in some way, that through charity work and meditating on “healing” poverty with thought we can sort this world out, which is a very fucked up belief to have, but one that many beings in this world share. Now religion and this kind of cult like behaviour putting value in little trinkets, is completely ridiculous, totally unacceptable, and obviously supports separation as what is accepted and allowed within this world system currently, however it is totally unacceptable that these beliefs and cult practices should affect me in anyway.
So why did I react? Within judging this being, I am only judging myself, its showing me that I’m reacting to something my mind is perceiving as different as something as outside of myself, blaming this persons beliefs, blaming this Christian cross object she was wearing for why I am reacting. There’s the key, why I am reacting, because in actual fact I am only reacting to myself here, I am only separating myself from what is here by not taking self-response-ability.
I can see when I look at the point, in my mind, that there is still this thought construct existing that I have accepted and allowed to exist as a personality. It’s an idea that I have formulated through participation in thoughts that religious/spiritual people are somehow “more responsible” then other people for the poverty and starvation that exists in this world, which in self-honesty is absolute nonsense, because all are equally responsible for what exists here, within and without as this one physical reality. And I can see that when I look in my memory that this idea that religious groups/spiritual cults are more responsible than the average person in the street, is because of all the extensive information I researched and accumulated as knowledge when I was deeply into conspiracy theories between 4-8 years ago. Because at the heart of every conspiracy theory I researched, was always a secret group that did specific rituals, sacrifices to gods and prayer/mantras, and within the information would always be explained that this group is single handedly responsible for withholding secret knowledge and all the suffering existing in the world. And at the time I allowed myself to be defined as “Marley the guy who knows everything about freemasons, cults, religions” I mean when I was involved in gang activity my nickname in the gang was “mason” and my anger at these secret religious groups was part of why I participated in crime because I wanted to blame someone, I wanted to find a way to amass money, arms and more people, so I could find a way to go and behead the leaders of these groups. I would always go off on heated energetic ramblings for hours about how evil these groups were, and how they were to blame for everything that was wrong in the world, and I would go off on these ramblings whenever I would hear a religious person talk, or see a picture of the pope, or some religious leader, or a picture of god defined as man with a beard, or something as small as a cross that someone was wearing, so these were the various triggers, and I used to feed into these triggers, where I would verbally attack whoever I saw supporting the religion/cult, which is part of why when I first found Desteni, I reacted in fear, attacked and blamed, because I viewed every group as the same without research in many cases. The only groups I liked the sound of was groups that spoke about love/light, the idea of god being this “cosmic galactic light” that we all had, it sounded so attractive at the time that I just wanted to start doing it, which actually did help me from one perspective by distracting and detaching myself from the gang, but obviously only fucked me further into the mind.
So anything that wasn’t spouting love and light mantras I viewed as “evil” according to polarity within and as my mind. So all the major established worldwide religions I saw as evil that I wanted to destroy, when in actual fact I was just destroying myself and everything around me. So when I first came across Desteni without even researching, I just reacted in fear, and defined as a part of the new world order, I actually thought at the time that Desteni was just another sect or order in the worldwide freemasonic hierarchy lol. But I was fascinated which is obviously why I continued to research Desteni in detail and eventually apply what is offered, but it was fascinating for the first 6 months – a year after finding Desteni, looking at how my mind was attempting to clutch onto love and light, and as physical reality became clearer and clearer as what is accepted and allowed, it was so cool watching love and light beliefs totally disappear from my reality. However reacting in disdain and extreme judgment to a being who is spouting religion is clearly still existing within me as me as this situation at the shop showed me, because although I didn’t start verbally attacking her as I very likely would have done once upon a time in another lifetime, I was still reacting inside. So time to pull out my self-application weaponry and start crippling this personality until here no further.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to religious trinkets that people wear. I realise and understand that this is an unnecessary separation of myself, by reacting to that which is already me as this one physical reality.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist as conscious enslavement as separation by allowing religious people or objects trigger me into a reaction.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge religious people as being “more responsible than anyone else for the state of the world.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to attack another being in my mind because they are religious, sinking vampire teeth into the being in the mind in secret.
I forgive myself that I have not realised until recently that by reacting in fear and judging another on the basis of their beliefs, that I am in fact separating myself from the being, that I am separating myself from what is here, by not looking in my own life where I have accepted the same belief to wear trinkets and hope for a magical solution.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have an argument with a being because I know they are actually talking shit.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire an argument with a being within and as energy as the mind to dominate the being and win and argument just to enforce my ego, instead of supporting the being physically, which is totally unacceptable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect an argument with a deeply religious person to desire in total separation of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite a being by formulating and connecting a picture of the being in my mind the day they find out god isn’t real.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame religion for why the world is the way it is, which is only me accepting and allowing myself to abdicate self-response –ability, which is not acceptable in anyway.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my mind that I am smarter and greater then a religious person because I know how to apply myself an take self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to create a polarity as the mind within this belief of defining religious people as “bad” and destonians as “good”.
I forgive myself that I have suppressed my back chat, by not dealing with this point, and just continually allowing the trigger sequence of events, saying nothing with my mouth, but speaking words in my head.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my instability in relation to religion, to justify judging religion, because it has and does deceive so many people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect religious people to “bad” and destonians to “good” in my mind through participating in the mind.
I forgive myself that i have not applied myself immediately and repeatedly on this point of judging religious people in my mind as soon as as it comes up, but instead festering, and continually allowing this kind of vampire reaction in relation to religion.
I forgive myself that I have repeatedly entertained backchat in my head that religious people and religion is more to blame than anything else for the state of this world.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to entertain that which is not actually tangible as physical reality as a thought to judge religious people.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame anything for why this world is the way it is, when in fact all are equally responsible, equally here as the physical, equally enslaved within a system that supports the mind consciousness system.
Then after i paid and left, on the way back to the car i noted the point down, that I was judging this woman, instead of just reflecting the point back to myself, and seeing that I have also been in this belief before – that wearing trinkets that enforce belief is acceptable in some way, that through charity work and meditating on “healing” poverty with thought we can sort this world out, which is a very fucked up belief to have, but one that many beings in this world share. Now religion and this kind of cult like behaviour putting value in little trinkets, is completely ridiculous, totally unacceptable, and obviously supports separation as what is accepted and allowed within this world system currently, however it is totally unacceptable that these beliefs and cult practices should affect me in anyway.
So why did I react? Within judging this being, I am only judging myself, its showing me that I’m reacting to something my mind is perceiving as different as something as outside of myself, blaming this persons beliefs, blaming this Christian cross object she was wearing for why I am reacting. There’s the key, why I am reacting, because in actual fact I am only reacting to myself here, I am only separating myself from what is here by not taking self-response-ability.
I can see when I look at the point, in my mind, that there is still this thought construct existing that I have accepted and allowed to exist as a personality. It’s an idea that I have formulated through participation in thoughts that religious/spiritual people are somehow “more responsible” then other people for the poverty and starvation that exists in this world, which in self-honesty is absolute nonsense, because all are equally responsible for what exists here, within and without as this one physical reality. And I can see that when I look in my memory that this idea that religious groups/spiritual cults are more responsible than the average person in the street, is because of all the extensive information I researched and accumulated as knowledge when I was deeply into conspiracy theories between 4-8 years ago. Because at the heart of every conspiracy theory I researched, was always a secret group that did specific rituals, sacrifices to gods and prayer/mantras, and within the information would always be explained that this group is single handedly responsible for withholding secret knowledge and all the suffering existing in the world. And at the time I allowed myself to be defined as “Marley the guy who knows everything about freemasons, cults, religions” I mean when I was involved in gang activity my nickname in the gang was “mason” and my anger at these secret religious groups was part of why I participated in crime because I wanted to blame someone, I wanted to find a way to amass money, arms and more people, so I could find a way to go and behead the leaders of these groups. I would always go off on heated energetic ramblings for hours about how evil these groups were, and how they were to blame for everything that was wrong in the world, and I would go off on these ramblings whenever I would hear a religious person talk, or see a picture of the pope, or some religious leader, or a picture of god defined as man with a beard, or something as small as a cross that someone was wearing, so these were the various triggers, and I used to feed into these triggers, where I would verbally attack whoever I saw supporting the religion/cult, which is part of why when I first found Desteni, I reacted in fear, attacked and blamed, because I viewed every group as the same without research in many cases. The only groups I liked the sound of was groups that spoke about love/light, the idea of god being this “cosmic galactic light” that we all had, it sounded so attractive at the time that I just wanted to start doing it, which actually did help me from one perspective by distracting and detaching myself from the gang, but obviously only fucked me further into the mind.
So anything that wasn’t spouting love and light mantras I viewed as “evil” according to polarity within and as my mind. So all the major established worldwide religions I saw as evil that I wanted to destroy, when in actual fact I was just destroying myself and everything around me. So when I first came across Desteni without even researching, I just reacted in fear, and defined as a part of the new world order, I actually thought at the time that Desteni was just another sect or order in the worldwide freemasonic hierarchy lol. But I was fascinated which is obviously why I continued to research Desteni in detail and eventually apply what is offered, but it was fascinating for the first 6 months – a year after finding Desteni, looking at how my mind was attempting to clutch onto love and light, and as physical reality became clearer and clearer as what is accepted and allowed, it was so cool watching love and light beliefs totally disappear from my reality. However reacting in disdain and extreme judgment to a being who is spouting religion is clearly still existing within me as me as this situation at the shop showed me, because although I didn’t start verbally attacking her as I very likely would have done once upon a time in another lifetime, I was still reacting inside. So time to pull out my self-application weaponry and start crippling this personality until here no further.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to religious trinkets that people wear. I realise and understand that this is an unnecessary separation of myself, by reacting to that which is already me as this one physical reality.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist as conscious enslavement as separation by allowing religious people or objects trigger me into a reaction.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge religious people as being “more responsible than anyone else for the state of the world.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to attack another being in my mind because they are religious, sinking vampire teeth into the being in the mind in secret.
I forgive myself that I have not realised until recently that by reacting in fear and judging another on the basis of their beliefs, that I am in fact separating myself from the being, that I am separating myself from what is here, by not looking in my own life where I have accepted the same belief to wear trinkets and hope for a magical solution.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have an argument with a being because I know they are actually talking shit.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire an argument with a being within and as energy as the mind to dominate the being and win and argument just to enforce my ego, instead of supporting the being physically, which is totally unacceptable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect an argument with a deeply religious person to desire in total separation of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite a being by formulating and connecting a picture of the being in my mind the day they find out god isn’t real.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame religion for why the world is the way it is, which is only me accepting and allowing myself to abdicate self-response –ability, which is not acceptable in anyway.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my mind that I am smarter and greater then a religious person because I know how to apply myself an take self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to create a polarity as the mind within this belief of defining religious people as “bad” and destonians as “good”.
I forgive myself that I have suppressed my back chat, by not dealing with this point, and just continually allowing the trigger sequence of events, saying nothing with my mouth, but speaking words in my head.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my instability in relation to religion, to justify judging religion, because it has and does deceive so many people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect religious people to “bad” and destonians to “good” in my mind through participating in the mind.
I forgive myself that i have not applied myself immediately and repeatedly on this point of judging religious people in my mind as soon as as it comes up, but instead festering, and continually allowing this kind of vampire reaction in relation to religion.
I forgive myself that I have repeatedly entertained backchat in my head that religious people and religion is more to blame than anything else for the state of this world.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to entertain that which is not actually tangible as physical reality as a thought to judge religious people.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame anything for why this world is the way it is, when in fact all are equally responsible, equally here as the physical, equally enslaved within a system that supports the mind consciousness system.
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