Day 316: The Beautiful Selfishness of "The freedom to choose"

Somebody said to me recently that I am free to choose what ever I want to be and believe in life, that anybody can choose to be whatever they want to be and believe in life, whatever makes you feel good. Alas it is the type of thing many positive thinking gurus around the world will spout off all day to the joy of their followers.

Yet when this statement was made to me, it really reminded me that in physical reality this concept of the "freedom to choose" is really where we try to cover over our indulgence of self-interest as some kind of beautiful thing and where the root cause of why our internal/external worlds and the physical world we all inhabit exists the way they do as being controlled, defined by energy as the mind and money.

As I walk my journey to life I always like to stay clear on the reality of choice -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have the free choice to decide what I want to be and believe in my life, when invariably the reality is that this is a statement made from a starting point of being self-dishonest where I already know when I am saying the statement that I will always only choose that which gives me the most energy as my mind as money in complete disregard of what is best for all life here physically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest with myself about the nature of my "free choice" where I deceive myself into justifying my free choice as being a "beautiful part" of "being free" when really my free choice enables me to get away with abuse as the mind where I can selectively choose when it suits me to help another or just maintain my energy bubble.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every breathe that the Freedom to choose is just a system, a defence mechanism generated by my existence as the ego as energy, where I "defend my right" to my internal and external addiction to make decisions in my life based on money as energy which is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have the right to choose what forms of life as the animal kingdom I like, enjoy, accept and which ones I dislike, do nor enjoy or accept - instead of realising that all life in this physical world is equal and one as life and should not be subject to my self-created mind which exists in complete separation from physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live a life where I put the mind before the physical, where I delude myself that the physical is subject to the mind when in fact it is in reverse - the mind cannot exist without the physical.

I forgive myself that I have used the excuse of defining physical tasks I need to get done as basically impossible as I want to remain in the self-indulgence of my self-created secret mind, where I give myself permission as an illusion of free choice on my terms only.

I forgive myself for defining physical tasks that will take a lot of effort as time to fix as being, impossible as an excuse to choose to procrastinate and stay within the "safe" self  as my internal dialogue as the ego as energy as money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone committing myself to life because of feeling that I have already challenged my mind, when in fact if i cannot walk this journey to life again and again until its done, then essentially I have not relinquished the mind, but instead have just re-designed my mind to a "more acceptable" level of superiority - where again I fuck myself within the "free choice" to do what I like, instead of what is best for all life here.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that every killer, rapist and torturer in this world, did so out of allowing the free choice to follow what makes them feel good, the freedom to believe whatever they want  - which as proven through this example is why free choice is such a massive determiner as to why our world is so fucked up right now - it is because we are fucked up as this free choice to ignore and abuse life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate personal happiness in my mind as the foundation for my decisions and whenever I am faced with a long process of self-correction which should be done immediately without haste, as there is no short cut, I will instead linger in the mind as this "free choice" a free choice that does not exists in physical reality but only my mind - living what is best for all life involves no free choice as it is measurable and which I can see clearly when I have let go of my idea of myself and I am breathing here.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that real happiness, should be equated to creating a life, where systems are implemented to direct whats here to support all life here - because until all are happy, then none can be truly happy in physical fact.

I forgive myself that  I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am free to choose to care only about my only family and friends in this world - instead of realising that this is the selfishness of free choice as it should be for all as the family of life, one family for all as equals as life, not just based on my blood relations and personal experiences.

I forgive myself that I have not realised, seen and understood in all moments that while growing up in this world I accepted the imitation the imprinting of my parents as systems of energy as money as myself - where my happiness as a child was directly related to money where the energy as joy, happiness, comfort, freedom, fun I derive from the toys I had/have for instance was automatic with no choice, and would preoccupy me from the physical abominations existing in physical reality and that if I was born without money that I would instead be preoccupied with the uncertainty, fear and sadness which I would imprinted on me from my parents/environment which again would involve no choice.

I forgive myself that I have not seen and realised in every breathe that when there is no money, to sustain the illusion of myself as energy, then there is no choice that can exist as there is no way I can escape and protect myself from the harsh realities of the physical suffering of poverty, starvation, illness that occur in this world - the ability to indulge myself as free choice as the mind is directly related to money.

I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse free choice through designing my network of friends based on who gives me the most energy for me, where I will disregard those from my network of close friends if they have no energy as sex, money, glamour, obsession for me in complete self-interest, instead of realising that my friendships should be based on real physical support of one another, which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself and all life as this free choice, where I make valued judgements about certain countries and people, believing that the valued judgement I'm making is free for me to choose and comes without a cost - when in fact the consequence is the standing as and promulgation of a system of separation instead of a world where all countries and peoples are equal and one as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse free choice through believing that it is acceptable to define anyone who is religious as stupid and anyone who is a believer in science to be smart -  I realise that nobody has more importance then anyone else regardless of beliefs and if I had lived the life of a religious person, then I would be exactly as devout in their religion as they are and that my defining of Science and its followers as smart is based on my own personal memories/imprinting from my grandfather in younger years, and is based/fuels nothing but a polarity friction which only continues the separation of myself as the self-created mind and the world system of capitalism as the energy of money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a polarity friction through the "free choice" to define a person who is religious to be stupid as "negative" and an atheist as "positive" without considering that Atheism itself is a religion so to speak, just as enslaving as any slave master concept and therefore is not acceptable to allow.     

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose how much effort to put into something based on how much energy/money it will give me instead of simply basing my actions in every moment on what is best for all life, which would be to maximise my efforts in any undertaking that is to the upliftment of all life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose what food I will accept and what I will not - within this while preference can be acceptable, i realise i can fuck myself within this choice by being completely unaware and inconsiderate of the fact that my ability to "choose" to not accept some food is based on money and that If I had no money in this world that I would have no ability to choose what food I can accept as I must accept whatever food I can get - so I eat any food that supports my body equal and one with those who do not have the ability to choose food, until I have create s a world where every being in existence can choose what to eat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose to only enjoy certain music, where I limit myself within the confines of my self-created mind and where I only separate myself from and judge those who listen to different music as not having the same "energy as me" ad where I will never likely have many friends who listen to music that I choose to not listen to.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every moment that whenever I use the statement "I don't like it" then I know i am fucking myself within and as the ego as "free choice" where I am separating myself from a part of this world without considering that it is a part of me as this world as who I really am as life.

I forgive myself that I have not realised see and understood in every here breathe that only decisions that measurably work for the benefit of all life in physical space time are acceptable.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to deceive myself within free choice - so as and when I ever see my mind having thoughts come up about trying to create a choice based on energy, I stop and breathe I do not allow myself to participate with the thought, feeling or emotion that comes as I know that choice based on energy is always the continuation of a fleeting pre-program, where a choice based on whats best for all life is always measurable here as this breathe and is eternal, so I continue to breathe until there is nothing that comes up no matter what.

I commit myself to destroy my ideas of free choice that only serve my pre-programmed mind and to instead make choices in self-honesty that measurably works for all life in physical space time here.