Day 211: I will never fail - Well not in front of you Part 2

So continuing from my last blog, it is highly important to become intimate with loss as much as victory. It is a part of growth, because within loss we learn humility, we increase our understanding of ourselves, and how we can improve as living beings.

Do not lie to yourself about who you really are, the ego is a tricky thing, but I will never allow my ego to control who I am, and the decisions I make in my life, because the ego is not based in physical reality here, but rather in the imaginations of consciousness in separation from the physical, and therefore I cannot trust it.

Only the ego can create infallible all knowing ideas of our self, because in reality we all experience losing, and we all learn a lot about ourselves in relation to these losses, in terms of what we did wrong and how we can improve. But an apparent "all knowing undefeatable" being can never learn anything, never forget that -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to avoid people seeing me fail at any undertaking, especially if I like the person - I realise that within this I am creating and existing as a holographic idea of myself as an imaginary infallible being, in complete separation from who I really am as life.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments that who I really am is always here as breathe, and it is within breathing that I can apply common sense to my decision making, instead of being fuelled by some desire to present the perfect image of myself to another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be defined by a person I like, as being perfect and without failings - I realise that this desire is limiting because through participating with this desire, is where I then go and create this projection that I put up in front of people I like, where I am trying to pump up the best of me, and be silent and hide the worst of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen in a compromising position by someone that I like - I realise this fear does not assist me in living whats best for all life, and i also realise that being in compromising positions is something we all go through in life, and therefore we should never be afraid to show our loses as much as our victories with people, so that the true story of who we are is always clear for all to see.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be distracted from what I'm doing when someone I like is watching me fail or be in a compromising position in any undertaking, through existing as this idea of myself that I am presenting to this person, and then fearing that the image I created is being cracked and shattered.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments, that any projected images we present to others, will always be shattered at some point anyway as we become more intimate with a person - if a person forever believes I am an undefeatable/special being, then all that indicates is that I haven't allowed myself to open up, to truly communicate with and be intimate with that person.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments, that within difficult situations and failure, there is still glory that comes, in a different form - because when our intentions are clear, when we stand as who we are and express who we are, and the point we are working on is of great importance, and we aim for victory in our intentions, then failure is still supportive, because our input was of worth in this world.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that being in a less advantageous/all knowing position is a "weakened state". I have since realised that this is nothing but my ego trying to trick me into believing that I can be a "lessened version" of myself just by virtue of whether or not I'm succeeding or losing in an undertaking, which is complete bullshit because who I am is not defined by victory or loss, who I am is this breathe of life here, therefore who I really am is never in question as our egos would have us believe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to attract only positive praise from someone I like, and avoid negative responses from them - which is directly saying to that person that I don't want to have a real relationship with you, I want you to have a relationship with an imaginary version of me which is unacceptable.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to fear someone I like seeing me be wrong, being in a difficult situation, or losing in an undertaking - I realise that within sharing losses and victories with people I like and everyone I know, then the real me is always seen. So as and when I see my mind having thoughts come up that feed into this ego based "never fail" character, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to participate, because I know the pre-programmed cycle i will be trapped within if i do not release these thoughts, so I breathe an doctrine to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up.

I commit myself to live the realisation that, who I am is never in question no matter what I do in my life, through the trials and tribulations, the victories and losses of life, I am always still here as life, doing everything in my power to build a world that is best for all life no matter what - that is all that matters.

I commit myself to learning and living that realisation that within sharing my victories and losses, with everyone i know in all situations, this means that my quality of relationships in my life will only be strengthened,  and will support others to only show me the real version of themselves also, as my real self becomes an example that assists others to show me their losses as much as their victories, which is victory for us all :)

Join me in my next blog as I continue to walk my journey to life.