Day 102: Carrying the “weight” of illness

So the past few days I have been ill with a cold, it has been about 2 years since I have had a cold partly due to consistently using Hydrogen Peroxide in my diet/ears. Now I’m already feeling a lot better today through using HP rigorously over the past few days, but as soon as I woke up yesterday I started reacting in the mind immediately when I realized that I had all the signs of a cold such as blocked/stuffy nose, sore throat, headache etc.

I started experiencing myself as “down” about this cold, which then resulted in me physically slumping throughout a lot of the day like I’m carrying this additional weight which is not actually tangible, but through my participation in thought energy, it manifests through my body. All day not wanting to participate in anything, experiencing myself as useless, just wanting to lay down, sleep and curl up within and as this “heavy” experience.

I also experienced this judgement of myself as being weak for being ill like this, that I should apparently “not be able” to get ill like this. And I noticed at the same time that I have accepted and allowed this concept for a long time in my life, judging illness as weakness, which I should not experience because I am apparently so “strong”.

I realize that this is all just a fiasco happening in my head, I realize that it is completely unnecessary to react to getting ill in the mind as experiencing myself as “heavy and down”, I mean obviously it is not physically comfortable to be ill in any format, yet through remaining stable as breathe I ensure that common sense is still my directive whether I am ill or not, which is best for all because my effective participation in anything is not compromised through any accepted and allowed mind reactions.

I realize that anybody can get ill in this world, because we are all flesh and bone, so no matter what preventative measures I take, such as using Hydrogen Peroxide which is something I suggest everyone take to avoid unnecessary illness, this HP usage does not change the fact that I am a physical being in a physical world and thus I can be affected by physical illnesses.

I realize that through living with my mum for the majority of my life, and seeing her be seriously ill very often, is where I have created this delusionary concept that illness is something associated with my mother, not with me, that I “never get ill”, which as I have just shared is complete bullshit.

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